Acceptance

The past two days have taught me something valuable. Some more valuable, perhaps, than being happy. After realizing it today, I think that what I learned may be a very big step towards happiness and positive thinking. What I've learned? Acceptance.

You need to accept the things that happen, both good and bad. I don't think many people actually reject the good things that happen, but being in denial or rejecting the bad things that happen to you can get in the way of being happy.

Some things have been going not the way I want them to the past few days. My emotions have been off, and I feel like I've been on a miniature rollercoaster with my emotions. Today a few things happened that could have ruined my day. I could have been devastated. I probably would have been angry any other day at these things that happen that are outside of my control. By the third not-so-great thing that happened to me today, I had a moment of disappointment/anger, but then I said 'fuck it'. It's a phrase I've started to say a lot lately. 'Fuck who cares if I do something for me,' 'Fuck trying to bottle up my feelings and not communicate,' 'Fuck being unhappy because of circumstances that aren't always in my control.' And after I said 'fuck it' today, I accepted what happened. I accepted the fact that I probably won't go anywhere for Memorial Weekend. I accepted the fact that I'll probably go with my parents to New Mexico in June. I accepted that people change and I won't always get to know why.

After I accepted all these things, it was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I feel lighter and more carefree. Not completely carefree, because I can't operate like that, but not so concerned with other people. It's something that I feel like I used to know, but am finding out through actual trial and error, rather than what I've seen in the media/on TV/read in books. There's something oddly rewarding about learning a lesson like this on your own. I guess that's what they call life experience.